The Pangs of Despiséd Love
by MaryRoyale
Summary: Bellatrix keeps finding herself near a mysterious wood. The wolf that lives there keeps telling her to go away, but Bellatrix has never done what she was told. Submission for the Particular Pairing Challenge. Bellatrix Lestrange/Remus Lupin. AU! ONE-SHOT.


**Title:** The Pangs of Despiséd Love  
**Author: **Mary Royale  
**Disclaimer:** No copyright infringement is intended. JK Rowling owns everything. I own nothing.  
**Assigned Pairing:** Remus Lupin/Bellatrix Lestrange  
**Assigned Prompt:** Afterlife

**Assigned Quote:** "No! Don't poke the pen there!"  
**Rating:** T  
**Word Count:** approx. 5400  
**Warnings:** AU, Hints of Little Red Riding Hood because Bellatrix would not be denied.  
**Summary:** Bella keeps finding herself near a mysterious wood. The wolf that lives there keeps telling her to go away, but Bella has never done what she was told.

**Author's Note: **Yes, I meant to put an accent mark over the second "e" in despised. It's Shakespeare—one needs one's stress marks to keep iambic pentameter flowing as it ought. This piece is my submission for the "Particular Pairs Challenge" over at the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges Forum. Many, many thanks to Lost O'Fallon Girl for suggesting "What Dreams May Come" as a jumping off point for a story about Bellatrix and Remus with a prompt of 'Afterlife'. If you're not familiar with the movie—its basic premise is that we make our own heaven or hell. We torture ourselves with our failures and we punish ourselves for our mistakes. Please keep in mind that Remus' wood is _his_ anything or anyone that lives there (with the exception of Bellatrix) is the creation of his tortured psyche.

* * *

The woods were gnarled and twisted and Bella stood outside of them uncertainly. The other worlds that she had visited so far were sunny and bright. This place was dark and it made her uneasy. She pulled her red hooded cape closer around her and tried to peer into the darkness. It wasn't that she was _afraid_. Bella wasn't afraid of anything. Well, there were one or two things Bella might be afraid of but she couldn't remember what they were. It was difficult to remember everything here. Some days she had a hard time remembering that her name was Bella. The darkness reminded her of something that teased the edges of her memory. She watched the woods for several long minutes before she turned and left.

Whenever Bella wandered she ended up back at the woods. She had an uncanny, prickling sensation that she was being watched as she stood in the road that led to the woods. There was a stronger pervasive feeling that if she went into those woods she might remember. She stepped forward and then paused. Did she want to remember? Bella's lips pursed as she considered her options. She could go home to her lovely estate and have tea. The estate always comforted her. It reminded her of somewhere… somewhere she had been happy. She could go into the woods and face her memories. The woods made her uneasy. She had a feeling that her memories would not be comfortable.

_Blacks do not allow themselves to get comfortable._

A flash that was there and then gone: a school room similar to the one in her manor house. There were three little girls with their hair in pigtails and short dresses that went to their knees. A stiff, imposing-looking woman was glaring at the youngest, a blonde girl who was swinging her legs back and forth. _Aunt Cassiopeia_. Bella remembered Aunt Cassiopeia. At least… she thought she did.

"_Now the important thing to remember is to never underestimate one's enemies," Aunt Cassiopeia lectured with her hands clasped behind her back. "Muggles are particularly cunning and it is important to keep an eye on their technological advances. One never knows what might aid them in discovering our secrets."_

_Bella sighed and scowled at her desk. She had never even seen a Muggle. She didn't know why they had to spend so much time talking about them. She snuck a look at her sister who was doodling in the borders of her parchment with the strange implements that Cassiopeia had given them that morning. "Pens." Aunt Cassiopeia said that they were similar to quills. Bella couldn't really see why Muggles would want to use them. _

"_Cissy no!" Aunt Cassiopeia called out imperiously. "No! Don't poke the pen there!" _

_Bella and Dromeda turned in surprise to see that their little sister had put her 'pen' in her ear and was now crying loudly and wailing for Mummy. Aunt Cassiopeia sighed heavily and waved her wand. _

The woods seemed to be reaching out for her and the branches clutched at her red hooded cape as she slipped into its darkness. Bella pulled her cape even tighter around her and peered into the darkness. _Things_ rustled and moved in the underbrush. Bella felt her heartbeat accelerate and she tried to breathe normally. _A Black is always in control_. Bella took another deep breath.

"Go away," a voice growled.

Bella whirled toward the sound of the voice and squinted into the deeper woods. "Hello?" She called.

Low growling filled her ears and Bella's palms grew slick.

"You shouldn't be here little girl," the voice said menacingly.

Bella snorted. "I am _not_ a little girl," she said in a haughty voice that felt familiar and right.

The voice barked out a laugh. "How old are you then?"

"I don't know," Bella admitted with a scowl.

"Go away," the voice said again. "You don't belong here."

The rustling seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. Bella lifted her chin arrogantly. _A Black bows to no one_. She wasn't quite sure who the owner of the voice was, but she was fairly certain that he did not have the authority to command her to do anything.

"I can go where I wish," she insisted.

There was more rustling and then a flash of movement. She stumbled and landed on her bum in the middle of the path. Suddenly her personal space was being invaded by a large, furry creature. It loomed over her and glared at her with burning amber eyes. His breath was hot on her skin and he snarled softly at her. She jerked back and stared at the creature. He was a wolf, but he was the biggest wolf she'd ever seen.

"Leave," he snarled at her.

Bella struggled to her feet and pulled her red hooded cape about her. "No," she told the wolf with an arrogant toss of her head.

He snarled again. "You are the most infuriating little girl."

"I am _not _a little girl," she snapped.

The wolf just looked at her. He wasn't able to arch an eyebrow, but Bella could almost _feel _it.

"You _do_ belong here then?" Bella asked curiously.

"Of course," the wolf replied.

"Why?" Bella pressed him.

"Isn't it obvious?" The wolf demanded. "I'm a monster! An abomination! A filthy, disgusting beast!"

Bella pursed her lips. Those words sounded very familiar. She heard a distant echo of herself flinging those words at… _someone_. If only she could remember things properly. She frowned at the wolf. It had not escaped her attention that she still was not actually in the forest. She was just barely inside it, but Bella knew that she needed to go to the heart of the forest. If she wanted to remember then she needed to get deeper into the woods.

"It isn't obvious at all," Bella sniffed. She eyed the wolf thoughtfully. "You're huge… I don't think I've ever seen a wolf larger than you are, but just because you're a _big _wolf doesn't make you _bad_."

"What would a little girl like you know about evil?" The wolf scoffed.

"I know evil," Bella heard herself say with conviction. She blinked and stared at the wolf in shock. The forest was already working! She had made the right choice.

"There are dangerous things in these woods," the wolf grumbled.

"I'm not afraid," Bella said with a toss of her head.

"You should be," the wolf retorted.

The amber eyes of the wolf watched Bella as she continued on the path toward the heart of the woods. The woods were even darker now and occasionally Bella could hear strange animals calling to one another. It was difficult to judge the passing of time, but eventually Bella's feet grew sore and she looked for a likely place to sit down and rest. The sound of running water pulled her toward a small brook that appeared to be clean of debris and pollutants. Bella's hand went to her hip, but she couldn't imagine why. She frowned at her hand and tried to think about why she had done that. She had had a very strong desire to drink the water, but she had worried about whether or not it was potable.

"It looks clean enough," she muttered to herself.

Kneeling carefully on the edge of the brook she leaned forward and scooped up a handful of water. It was ice cold and Bella found herself drinking greedily. She had been thirstier than she had realized. She sat back on her heels and looked around. Nearby was a blackberry bramble thick with berries. It was better than not eating at all Bella decided and she stood and made her way to the prickly bramble.

"Who are you?"

Bella turned toward the voice and froze in surprise. It was a teeth-achingly beautiful young man and he was watching Bella with an air of intelligent curiosity. _She knew him_. There was another flash that was there and then gone: a manor house similar to hers but colder and more austere. The beautiful young man was furiously angry and he was yelling at _someone_. Bella bit her lip and concentrated on the memory. He was yelling at Aunt Walburga and Uncle Orion. He was… the memory slipped from her and Bella huffed to herself in irritation.

"I am Bella," she said finally.

The young man frowned at her. "You're not with that wolf are you?"

"No," Bella said slowly. "Why?"

"He's a traitorous git," the young man growled.

"Why?" Bella asked again. She couldn't picture the wolf being any sort of traitor. Perhaps it was stupid to base her opinion on a few moments of conversation, but Bella was pretty sure that she was a good judge of character.

"He abandoned me," the young man snapped. "I needed him and he just left me in Azkaban to rot. Not one call, not one letter in twelve years. He was supposed to be my friend. He was supposed to stand by me—to be there for me."

_Azkaban_. That word made a chill go down Bella's spine. She could see a haunting rock, spare and bleak, rising up out of the ocean. Strange wraith-like creatures drifted over the rock and Bella had to suppress a shudder.

"Who are you?" Bella asked with a creeping feeling of dread.

"Sirius Orion Black," the young man announced in regal tones.

_Sirius_. A door in Bella's mind opened and she saw herself cast _Crucio _after _Crucio_ on Sirius. She saw herself screaming at him when he refused to join… _something_. She saw herself rather the worse for wear duelling with Sirius in a strange room. She saw herself _kill _Sirius.

"I killed you," she whispered staring at him in horror.

"What was that?" Sirius asked with a confused expression.

"You… you're my cousin and I _killed_ you. Surely that's worse than whatever the wolf did to you," Bella said slowly as she tried to sort out her memories

_The Family comes before every other concern. You must always ask yourself—will this help the Ancient and Noble House of Black? _

"You killed me?" Sirius scoffed and looked down at himself pointedly. "I look rather good for being dead, don't I?"

"No." Bella shook her head. "No… I _killed_ you." She frowned as she concentrated. "Why would I do that? You're family… _why_ would I betray my family?"

"_He_ was my family," Sirius countered darkly. "He was my brother and when we needed him he abandoned us."

Bella frowned. She couldn't be exactly certain because her memories were fuzzy at best, but she didn't believe she was related to the wolf. He was… he wasn't _scary_, but there was something about him that made Bella's skin prickle.

"That doesn't sound right," Bella murmured.

"It is," Sirius retorted with an arrogant toss of his head.

A low snarl drifted to Bella's ears and her spine stiffened. She turned to peer into the darkness of the woods and shivered when she spied amber eyes peering back out at her.

"Wolf," Sirius hissed angrily. He moved toward the wolf.

"Wait!" Bella cried out. The wolf and Sirius both turned to her reluctantly. She wasn't sure why she felt it was so important to speak, but something was compelling her. "Please, he hasn't hurt you nearly as much as I have. Whatever he's done it can't be as bad as what I have done."

"You cannot know what I have done, little girl," the wolf growled low in his throat.

"No," Bella agreed, "but I killed him. That has to be worse than anything you did."

The wolf snorted at that as though he didn't believe her.

"She says it is true, but I don't remember it," Sirius told the wolf with a frown.

The wolf appeared to be considering her words. "It… it might be true," he allowed.

"It is," Bella insisted. She frowned at Sirius. "You want to punish him, but I've done things that are far worse. Why aren't you trying to punish me?"

Sirius frowned back at her. "I don't know."

* * *

When Bella woke she wasn't certain if it was dawn or not; it was difficult to tell in the eerie light. The wolf was sitting nearby watching her. Those amber eyes were fixed upon her and Bella felt a growing sense of uneasiness.

"What?" She demanded at last.

"You don't look like a killer," he said at last.

Bella rolled her eyes at him. "Never underestimate one's enemies," she quoted loftily.

The wolf cocked his head. "Are we enemies?"

Bella frowned at him. "I don't know," she said at last. "I can't remember everything."

"I wish that I couldn't remember," the wolf growled.

"No, you don't," Bella countered. She bit her lip and focused on the woods. "It's awful to never know. I know what I did to Sirius. How many other people have I hurt? What kind of a person am I?"

"But you regret what you did… before?" The wolf asked curiously.

"I regret hurting Sirius," Bella agreed. "I don't know why I would do that. I can't really regret whatever else I did because I don't _know_… does that even make sense?"

"Yes, actually," the wolf replied. He huffed irritably and looked around the clearing that Bella had chosen. "You're not leaving the woods, are you?"

"No," Bella said with a look of fierce determination. "I need to go to the heart of the forest. If I go there… I think I will find out who I am and what I've done."

"What if it's awful?" The wolf asked in a soft, hesitant voice.

Bella sighed. "At least I'll know the truth."

"My name is Remus," the wolf told her.

"I am Bella," she said and then paused. "I think I am anyway. It _feels_ right."

"The heart is this way," the wolf called over his shoulder and loped off into the woods.

"Wait! Slow down," Bella called after him and hurried to follow.

* * *

"You destroyed me," shrieked an angry woman. She flung another pinecone at Remus. "You ruined any chance I had to have a career, a life!"

"Who on earth is this woman?" Bella whispered from behind a tree.

"My wife," Remus muttered.

"Wife?" Bella peered curiously around the side of the tree to catch a glimpse of the sort of woman that married a wolf. She seemed pretty enough and there was something about the woman that seemed familiar. "How did you ruin her career?"

"Once she married me any chance she had of career advancement was shot," Remus admitted with a sigh.

Bella frowned. "Did she not know that you were a wolf?"

"She knew," Remus snapped with an affronted look in his amber eyes. "I would never marry someone under false pretences! What kind of a man do you take me for?"

Bella eyed the four-footed furry figure and raised one delicate black brow. "You're not a man at all," she pointed out.

Remus snorted. "I'm a werewolf," he said in a haughty voice.

"Abomination!" Screeched his wife and flung another pinecone in their direction.

"So she knew what you were when she married you." Bella turned and eyed the wolf with a thoughtful expression.

"Of course," Remus growled.

"Then what, exactly, is her problem? She made a choice with full knowledge of the possible repercussions. How can you possibly be responsible for that?" Bella demanded.

The wolf appeared nonplussed. Bella turned her attention to Remus' wife. She moved forward so that she was blocking Remus. She eyed the woman carefully and another door opened in her mind. _Nymphadora_, the only child of her sister Andromeda. A cold, cruel-looking man was taunting her about Nymphadora and her werewolf husband. Bella could see herself—she knew that the man's words cut deeply and upset her terribly. Bella watched with a sense of horror as she killed Nymphadora. Had she killed every member of her family? What sort of person was she? From what she had seen so far she was the worst possible sort of blood traitor.

"I killed you," she said aloud testing the words on her tongue.

The wolf snorted behind her. "You can't keep running around claiming to have killed everyone," Remus snapped.

"No it's true," she retorted. She turned to face her niece. "I killed you. That put an end to your career much more efficiently than marrying a werewolf."

"He destroyed me!" Nymphadora insisted.

"No," Bella countered shaking her head. "I did."

"But," the woman tried again, but Bella interrupted her.

"You knew he was a werewolf, but you made the choice anyway." Bella said in a cold, haughty voice that felt very natural. "To blame others for your own choices is slothful. A Black accepts the consequences of his or her choices be they good or ill."

"I am not a Black," Nymphadora hissed.

Bella glared at the woman. "Your mother was and you have Black blood. Whether you want it or not we _are_ family."

Nymphadora appeared confused and she stood uncertainly in the middle of the path. She turned to look at Remus. "I knew you were a wolf when I married you," she told Remus.

"You did," Remus admitted.

"I did make that choice on my own," Nymphadora decided.

"So Remus was not responsible for your problems," Bella announced.

"No, he was not," Nymphadora agreed. She turned misty and then vanished.

Bella blinked and then turned to Remus. "Was that supposed to happen?"

"I don't know," Remus said thoughtfully. He moved forward onto the path. "Come on then. The heart's this way."

* * *

The darkness of the woods surrounded Bella and she rested her chin upon her knees. The things that she had done at her waking hours haunting her every step as she drew nearer and nearer to the heart of the forest. There was a soft thump as the wolf threw himself down next to her. He whuffed at the dark red velvet of her cape nosing aside the fabric until his cold nose touched the warm skin of her hand. She turned to look at him and was ensnared by the amber glow of his eyes.

"Why does everyone we meet here tell you how awful you are?" Bella asked. The question had been bothering her for a while now. She couldn't be certain if it had been days or even weeks. She knew only that it had been a while.

"I am," Remus said with a stubborn tilt to his furry head.

"Hmm." Bella turned away from him to watch the leaves twist in the wind. "You haven't killed anyone as far as I know," she muttered into the velvet that was spread across her knees.

"It bothers you?" Remus' voice was soft and hesitant.

Bella turned to look at him with scornful expression. "Well of course it bothers me!" She bit her lip and hunched in trying to make herself smaller. "I need to find the heart… I have to know the truth, but what if the truth is even worse?"

"How much worse could it be?" Remus wondered aloud.

"What if I killed you?" Bella asked in a small voice.

Remus stared at her for several long minutes. "What if you did?" He asked at last.

"Well then I would be far worse than you claim to be," Bella pointed out.

"What if you are?" Remus countered.

Bella looked away from him again. "Won't you hate me then? You hate yourself so much… you'll hate me even more."

The sounds of the forest grew loud around them. Bella could hear the toads croaking to one another and the distinctive bark of a fox.

"I…," Remus shifted uncomfortably. "I wouldn't hate you."

"Even I if I was a hundred times more horrible than you could ever dream of being?" Bella demanded.

Amber eyes watched her for a moment. "Even then," Remus said at last.

"You're crazy," Bella retorted with a shake of her head.

"Maybe I am," Remus acknowledged.

Laughter burst from her and Bella clapped a hand over her mouth in surprise. Remus crowded close to her and nudged her. She sighed and leaned against him for warmth. Her fingers tangled into his fur and she cuddled against him as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The Heart of the Forest was even darker than the rest. The shadows seemed deeper and thicker. Bella's heart pounded in her chest and she stared at the absence of light that seemed to be reaching out for her. Remus nosed at her hand until her fingers threaded into the fur of his ruff.

"You don't have to go in," Remus murmured.

"Yes I do," Bella said tightly.

"Well then I shall go with you," Remus decided.

"You don't have to do that," Bella countered. Her breath hitched in a soft sob and her fingers momentarily tightened in his fur. "You don't know what I am."

"Maybe I don't care," Remus retorted.

"You're crazy," Bella muttered.

"I thought we already covered that," Remus huffed at her.

Bella sighed. "Let's do this."

The shadow moved like a living thing once they entered the heart of the forest. It grabbed Bella and ripped her from Remus. She thought that she screamed, but she couldn't be certain. The Heart knew everything, and everything it knew Bellatrix knew. Every minor transgression, every great betrayal, every foul act that Bellatrix had ever committed was laid open as a festering wound upon her very soul. She felt raw from the inside out.

"Look!"

It was a bellow of sound, but Bellatrix heard the fear in the sound and she knew that it was fear _for_ her. She tried to turn toward the sound, but everything hurt. She struggled and eventually she was able to turn and she saw Remus bracing himself on all four feet.

"Leave me!" Even with her throat torn and bleeding Bellatrix was able to make herself heard.

"NO!" Remus shook his furry head and glared at her with his amber eyes. "_Look_! See… there!"

It was a memory that Bellatrix had all but forgotten… no, that wasn't right. It was a memory that had been _suppressed_. She had just turned eleven and she had snuck downstairs to spy on her parents' dinner party. A number of pure-blood families had been invited and there was a mysterious special guest. She tiptoed down the stairs with one hand on the balustrade to balance herself.

"_Now it isn't that I don't agree with your goals, Lord Voldemort," Cygnus was saying politely. "In fact, I'd be happy to donate to your cause."_

"_Abraxas mentioned that you were the right sort of wizard," an unknown voice—presumably belonging to this Lord Voldemort—replied in a smooth, unctuous tone. _

"_The Malfoys aren't a bad sort," Cygnus allowed and Bellatrix knew without looking that her father's face bore a haughty, condescending expression. "For all that they're fairly new."_

"_Just so," Lord Voldemort said. "So you're firm about joining us?"_

"_As I said, Lord Voldemort, it isn't that we don't agree," Cygnus told him. "But no Black will be branded with someone else's mark. You can speak to my cousin Orion if you wish, but he'll tell you the same thing my father told you. We'll support your efforts, but a Black bows to no one."_

"_I see." Lord Voldemort's voice had grown slightly chilly. "If you don't mind… could I use your toilet?"_

"_Of course. Right through that door and down the hall. First door on the left," Cygnus said. _

_Bellatrix tried to make herself small when the mysterious Lord Voldemort strode out into the hall. Bellatrix blinked in surprise when she caught sight of him. He was tall, dark and handsome. There was a mantle of power that clung to him that Bellatrix could feel pulling at her. Lord Voldemort's eyes fell on her and he smiled. Bellatrix shivered. He knelt beside her and looked into her eyes. _

"_Your father says that a Black will never be branded with someone else's mark. He says that a Black bows to no one," Lord Voldemort crooned to her in a silky voice. He stroked her cheek with a knuckle. "But you'll bow to me, won't you my pretty? And when the time comes you'll take my brand willingly. You'll beg for the chance. Won't you?" _

_Bellatrix stared up at him, but she couldn't speak. She felt a cold, crawling horror rise up within her, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. Lord Voldemort pulled out a small blade and pricked her finger. He pulled out a small box and opened it. He gripped her finger tightly squeezing it until three drops of her blood fell into the box. Then he smiled at her again and Bellatrix wanted to shake and shiver with fear, but she could not. His smile grew. _

"_Bow," he murmured softly. _

_Bellatrix bowed elegantly. _

"_That's my girl," he said with satisfaction. _

"NO!" Bellatrix screamed.

* * *

Sunlight woke her. Bellatrix blinked and put a hand up to shade her eyes. When she realized that it was the _sun_ she sat bolt upright. She twisted around and peered around blearily.

"Remus?" Her voice was hoarse and raw.

"Here!"

Bellatrix shrieked and tried to move away from the figure that moved toward her; the _two-footed_ figure that propped her up when she fell over and held a strange little wooden cup to her lips.

"Who?" Bellatrix squinted up at him. The shadows of the woods had made it hard for her to bear the sunlight. She looked around in confusion. "Where?"

"You went into the Heart and you discovered the truth," Remus told her. "Now drink this."

"What is it?" Bellatrix demanded suspiciously.

"Only water," Remus insisted.

Bellatrix grunted, but she drank the water he offered her. She glared up at him when she was through. She knew who he was now. He knew who she was. She scowled.

"Why are you still here?" She demanded.

Remus looked down at her and a lock of his hair fell over his eyes. He impatiently brushed it out of the way and grinned at her. "You don't seem to listen very well."

"You know who I am," Bellatrix pointed out.

Remus shrugged. "You know who I am," he countered. He waved a hand at the two of them. "Before, you never would have let me hold you up and you certainly wouldn't have drunk _anything_ that came from my hand."

"But," Bella tried to protest.

"You showed me my truth, and I helped you find yours," Remus told her.

Bellatrix thought about that for several minutes. "What now?" She asked.

"Apparently we have several options," Remus explained. "We can choose to stay here. We can choose reincarnation. We can choose to find and visit our friends and family."

"I don't think that I can stay here," Bellatrix said slowly.

Remus nodded. "What about your family? Um… Rodolphus?" He looked slightly hesitant when he asked about her husband.

"I married him because _he_ commanded me to do so," Bellatrix explained. She frowned and shook her head. "I don't think any of my family will really want to see me." She paused and looked up at Remus suspiciously. "You said _we_."

"I did," Remus agreed with another easy grin.

Bellatrix thought about that for a minute. "So… If I choose reincarnation… you'll come with me?"

"Yes." Remus affirmed.

"Then I choose that," Bellatrix said and snuck a look up at Remus through her lashes.

"Then I choose that, too," Remus said firmly.

* * *

"This way Mummy!"

"Alice! Alice, slow down!" Hannah Longbottom called after her daughter desperately.

"But Mummy!" Alice turned back to look up at her mother impatiently. "We can't be late!"

"No, of course not," Hannah agreed with a small smile.

Had she been this excited to go to Hogwarts? She didn't think so, but then Alice seemed to react to things differently than most people. Hannah remembered the first time that they had taken little Alice to visit with her grandparents at St. Mungo's. She had been five years-old—old enough for them to explain who they were going to visit and why Grandma and Grandpa Longbottom wouldn't be able to speak with her or play with her. Alice had nodded solemnly. She had clutched Neville's hand so tightly that he winced when they walked into their room.

She had watched her grandparents quietly for several long minutes while tears slipped down her cheeks. Finally she had gone over to her namesake and gripped her grandmother's hand in hers. "I'm sorry," she had whispered and then she had run from the room.

Neville found her hiding in a bathroom sobbing. He had pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly, but that only made her cry even more. After that, Neville thought that perhaps Alice shouldn't go with them, but she insisted upon it and even got her great-grandmother Augusta to agree that it was the right thing to do. Alice visited her grandparents every Saturday. Now that she was older she often sat next to her grandmother or grandfather's bed and read to them.

"Mummy!" Alice called again impatiently. She scowled at Hannah.

"I'm coming," Hannah said with a laugh. "I've never seen anyone so eager to go to school!"

"It's not school, exactly," Alice countered. "I can't wait to be Sorted and to find… um, to make friends."

"Where would you like to be Sorted?" Hannah asked curiously.

Alice's forehead creased and she looked thoughtful. "Well… the Abbots are usually in Hufflepuff and the Longbottoms are usually in Gryffindor," she said at last.

Hannah smiled. "That is true."

"Great-grandmother says that I'm an intelligent child so I suppose Ravenclaw is always an option," Alice continued.

"You're also entirely too sneaky for your own good," Hannah said drily. "Shall I tell Daddy to expect silver and green on your tie?"

"No," Alice said with a little shake of her head. "Not Slytherin."

"I suppose we shall have to let the hat Sort you as it will," Hannah said with a sigh.

"I suppose so," Alice agreed. "No one's looking now, Mummy. Let's go quickly."

The sight of the Hogwarts Express never failed to make a lump rise in Hannah's throat. She blinked back a tear or two and looked around the platform curiously. The end of the war had encouraged a baby boom of sorts. The platform was crowded with families and Hannah tried in vain to spot anyone she knew. Someone bumped into her from behind and she stumbled into Alice.

"Oh! I'm terribly sorry I didn't see you—Mrs Longbottom!" Ted Lupin flushed and gave a little half bow to Hannah and Alice. "It's Remus' first year and he's a little excited."

"It's Alice's first year as well so I understand," Hannah said with a smile at the slender boy half-hiding behind his father.

"Remy, this is Professor Longbottom's wife and their daughter Alice," Victoire told her son gently.

The boy pushed the platinum blond hair he'd inherited from his mum out of his eyes. "Hullo," he mumbled to his feet.

"Hello Remus," Alice replied softly.

His eyes darted to hers and he smiled shyly. "Wanna find a compartment on the train? My cousin James says all the good ones go fast."

"I'd like that," Alice replied.

Remus took her hand in his and tugged her toward the train. "C'mon Bel—er… Alice," he corrected himself and snuck a glance at the adults. They didn't appear to have caught his slip so he turned and grinned at Alice. She rolled her eyes at him and tugged his hand.

"And so it begins," Victoire said with a sigh.

"So what begins?" Ted demanded. He looked at Hannah in confusion. "Do you know what she's talking about?"

Hannah smiled. "Yes, actually."

"Well?" Ted mock-glared at his wife.

She smiled fondly at him and patted him on the arm. "I'll explain it later, chèr." She looked toward her son who was speaking earnestly to Alice Longbottom and smiled softly. _Much much later_. Maybe on Remy's wedding day.


End file.
